I Won't Be the One to Let Go

This one is for You. This song now spells everything I have for you. I need not say more.

I Won't Be the One to Let Go
By Barbra Streissand and Barry Manilow

Barbra:
I have dreams for you and me
And wishes that will last
And live beyond eternity

Barry:
Summers gone, winters on
Can we weather everything
Our eyes have yet to see?

Barbra:
As the years go by
I promise you that i...

Both:
I will be the one to run to
When the nights are long
I'll be there when winds begin to blow
Even when it seems
That everything is going wrong

Barbra: This I swear
Barry: I swear
Both: I won't be the one to let go
Barry: Life gets tough
Barbra: Ooh...
Barry: Roads get rough
Barbra: Ooooh...
Barry: Who knows what awaits us round the bend

Barbra:
Count on me, faithfully
Though everything we have could never end

Barry:
It could never end

Both:
And through rain or shine
And every cloudy sky

Both:
I will be the one to run to
When the nights are long
I'll be there when winds begin to blow
Even when it seems
That everything is going wrong

Barbra: This I swear
Barry: This I swear
Both: I won't be the one to let go

Barry: I'll be there
Barbra: I'll be there

Barry:
Anytime you need me
You'll know where I am

Barbra:You'll know just where I am
And everywhere

Barry: Everywhere

Barbra:
Anytime youre lost
Just turn around

Barry: Just turn around
Both: And take my hand and....

Both:
I will be your light in the night
And I promise
That even when it seems
That everything is going wrong

Barbra: This I swear
Barry: This I swear
Both: I won't be the one
Barbra: To let go...
Barry: To let go.... This I swear
Barbra: I swear
Both: I wont be the one to let go
Barbra: To let
Both: Go...

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Fountain Pen in Shotglass

I was using my inked fountain pens to write on my new notebook (to be posted later) when I found out that my Inoxcrom Vivaldi doesn't write properly. I thought the ink in the cartridge has ran out or dried, so I replaced it with a fresh one. But that did not help, as the lines coming from my pen's nib is still broken and wobbly. Hmmm... Time to clean it up, I thought. But my cleaning materials were at home, so I improvised. I took out a WOW Philippines souvenir shotglass and filled it with enough water to soak the pen's nib, and minutes later, after a second change of water and drying it with thick wads of paper towels, the pen writes perfectly and smoothly again! Whew.

This is how it looked when I used a shotglass to soak the Vivaldi's nib. I guess I found a better use for those shotglasses in my collection, huh? *Wink.*

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My Missing Pens (Now Found)

I found them!!! Yes, I found my missing Pilot FriXion Ball gelpens. Phew! Remember this post last September? These FriXion pens should have been included in the Pilot pens collection photo, but they were missing the time I was shooting and I could not remember where I placed them no matter how hard I tried to recall. Surprisingly, while organizing my toy truck collection the other night, these pens turned up in one of those small plastic bags holding my Tomy toys. Whew. And all the while I thought I have lost them.

Pilot FriXion Ball pens belong to the large selection of gel pens from Pilot, using the new, clever Metamocolor technology, or what the chemists at Pilot Pens call, thermo-sensitive gel ink formula, which turns transparent when friction is applied to it. A small rubber on its tail serves as an "eraser", and the ink disappears neatly as no eraser dust is produced in the process. Pilot claims that this "erasing" process does not pose any damage to almost all types of paper at all. Because the ink in these pens is easily erased, they cannot be used on legal documents or on any other official papers. The ink on these pens turn colorless when exposed to extreme temperatures (<14°f;>140°F). Their color can be restored, though fading, when placed in freezer to cool.

For practical and obvious reasons, I won't use these FriXions to write on my Moleskine, though. That notebook is reserved for my Pilot G2s. But these FriXions are great, cool pens! Especially when you're around people who get impressed with the idea of erasable gel pen inks. *Wink.*

Yeah, cool. Cool pens, these FriXions are. They're very handy when doing crossword puzzles, or Sudoku. Want more cool stuff about these pens? Watch this promotional video released in the US. Now this is one cool video for one cool pen.

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A Birthday Bouquet

From my friends at work:

This beautiful bouquet of flowers came with this extra special message:

Birthdays are celebrated to give a person time to think about life’s blessings and all the reasons to believe that God has put you there for a special reason. May you enjoy the solitude and peace as well as happiness and joy on your special day!

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Lovely November (and My Birthday Loot)

So I wasn’t able to NaNo. Again. Sadly. Well, there are excuses, and there are reasons, and I have several of both. But to protect the sanctity of my sanity, I choose not to elaborate on these things. There’s another NaNo next year, and I’d like to look at it as my chance to make-up for all the years I missed NaNoWriMo. But so much for NaNo.

A lot of beautiful things happened in November. Tatay’s birthday came around during the first week, and we had a different kind of celebration this year. Nothing grand, nothing fancy, just a simple dinner at home for the family, yet it felt special.

And then last weekend, it was my turn to celebrate as I turned 35. Yee-ha! We feasted on traditional birthday foods: spaghetti, pancit, puto Biñan, and sweet chocolate cake from Mer-Nels. Yes, I got to have my own cake!!! What a treat. It was an adult children’s birthday party, as someone aptly called it. And with my three nieces around, it was indeed a riot!

My birthday cake's candles...

For my birthday loot, here in pictures are some lovely stuff from someone even Lovelier. Wink.*

Books. I got two Murakami books! Yay!

Pens. I got two Schneiders, a green XTRA and another blue Zippi, a black 0.7 Uni-Ball Signo Gelstick, and two blue Inoxcroms: a Kukuxumusu and an Agatha Ruiz de la Prada.

And before these, during early November, I got the two bottles of Private Reserve inks that Sir Butch Dalisay bought for me during his US trip, a green Avocado and a brown/sepia Copper Burst.

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Some Perks

I've been out of touch lately, I know... And I'll start posting again by end of this week, to make up for all the missing posts. But for now I'd like to share something my good friend Consol sent me today.

We were talking about the stalkers who are making my life a bit difficult lately, and perhaps in her effort to cheer me up, she told me this:

With great power comes great responsibility. With fame comes unwanted attention.

Oo nga naman. Although the first line sounds borrowed, the second sounds a lot better. Parang... sikat na ako? Hahaha!!!

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For Next Month

Magna-NaNoWriMo ako!!! Basta.

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What A Happy Day!

This morning is just so good I feel like singing as my three-year old niece does in her class. Her song goes on like this:

Thursday (day of the week), today is Thursday
Thursday, Thursday,
What a happy day!

Who wouldn't feel good on a morning with my comfort food of hot, thick, sweet, milky, and chocolatey champorado for breakfast? And then for our morning snacks, someone brought a box of sweet, melt-in-the-mouth sylvannas. Whoa. I'm one lucky person today. For this morning, at least. *Wink.*

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New Notebooks and... More Pens!!!

Woohoohoo!!! I got new notebooks, and... ta-da! More pens!!!

My collecting habit is currently centered on notebooks and pens. (Rest muna sa toy trucks and shotglasses.) Thanks to my friends who love to spoil me rotten with gifts and pasalubong stuff when they travel within or out of the country. And now here are new notebooks and pens on my stash:

An 'Eagle' notebook, ring-bound with indexed pages and colored dividers. What makes it a winner is the inside pages, which are 250 leaves worth of lined, white, and smooth 80gsm paper.

Coming all the way from Hanoi, Vietnam (left) and Bogor, Indonesia (right), these two are instant favorites. The one from Hanoi has lined (or ruled) inside pages that are staple-bound on the spine. The cute little one from Bogor, however, has plain (unlined/unruled) inside pages and has a cloth-wrapped cover with intricate beadwork. See photo below for a more detailed view.

And here are my Schneider Zippis on my Molie. Whoever bought these for me got all the available barrel designs from Office Warehouse. Schneider pens are affordable and inexpensive but indeed they are very dependable and durable that the green one here instantly went into my pool of "everyday writers" after inking it. The rest of the lot are "uninked", together with my other "virgin" FPs, waiting for their turn to be "inked" and to bleed or glide smoothly on paper.

Here are my Zippis on the Eagle notebook. Now I have green, orange, and pink fountain pens.

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New Pens

My new pens are here!!!

Here are my new Schneider pens, coming from the Calligraphy set promised by a friend to me as "payment" after I fixed her phone the other week. The set has two fountain/calligraphy pens with 1.1mm and 1.5mm nibs and two ink cartridges. After opening the pack, I tried using the 1.1 nib and below is the product: Khalil Gibran's Joy and and Sorrow from the Prophet. The poem is part of a project I am currently on: handwriting selected poems from The Prophet, including some of my own sketches, and then bind the pages myself later. I'll post pics as soon as I'm done.

And since my friend is in a "Christmasy" mood, she also got me two more pens and a set of Slider ballpens. Not bad, eh? I wonder if she has more stuff at home that needs fixing. Maybe she'll pay me with a Pelikan Souveran later on. Wahaha!!!

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It's Here!

Yep. My new book is here. It's Khaled Hosseini's second book, A Thousand Splendid Suns. I decided to forego his first bestseller after reading all the good reviews about this one. I may get The Kite Runner later, but for now, I'm just so happy with this. And oh, it's my first book from Fully Booked. NBS loyal ako e. *Wink.*

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Sunday Mornings and Books

Only recently, Sunday morning has become clean-up time for me. I used to tidy up the house on Saturday or Sunday evenings, but that has changed lately. Though I love cleaning up at night when everything's quiet, Sunday morning has an envigorating charm that's simply perfect for dusting, mopping, and scrubbing. *Wink.* *Grin.*

I love waking up early on Sunday mornings while the neighborhood is still, while the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and toast fills the whole house, and while I could play the music I want without the mix-up of other music coming from my neighbors' radios. By 9am, RJFM's Rarest and Greatest starts, I turn off the classics and listen to the program which lasts until noon. As the program ends, I'm done with cleaning and it's time to go home for our family's Sunday lunch.

Yesterday morning, while tidying up the front room, I realized my table is overflowing with unread books, so many that the corner smells of bookpaper already!

These are all my unread books, not included on this stack are Haruki Murakami's Wind-up Bird Chronicle which I am currently on, and Khaled Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns which is on the way now after a friend bought it for me.

Yay. So many books... Guess I might just spend Sunday mornings reading instead of cleaning. *Chuckle.*

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Lovesick Friday

I miss you...

Terribly, miserably. Another week has gone by and so are days without you...

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My Mid-Week Loot

I was in the City the whole day yesterday for a project meeting with a client at his posh building at Paseo de Magallanes. I got time to spare after the meeting and so I went to Alabang in search of the stuff that make me happy: pens, toys, books. And so here they are, my mid-week loot. Sinful, I know, especially to my shrinking budget and a headache to my savings allotment, but never mind. I haven't rewarded myself like this in a long while... *Grin.*

First, here are my Tomica toys. The first one is Tomy #68, an Isuzu Snorkel Firetruck scaled at 1/110, and the second is Tomy #51, a Toyota Crown Comfort Taxi scaled at 1/63. Why it's called a Comfort Taxi, I don't know. (Don't ask me. He-he-he.)


Next, I bought my own trio set of Pilot FriXion Ball gel pens. They're amazing! Pilot pens are just amazing! I also bought refills for my .7 G2s.

And then... I finally found the Rotring fountain pen I've been wanting to get. Yee-ha! It's a Rotring Newton 600 with an 18k gold B nib. Whoa. I'm now enjoying the pen as much as I enjoyed using the Core, my first Rotring FP.

My Wednesday in the City is a very productive day. Successful with my meeting, successful in getting the stuff I want--as a reward to my hardwork (and heartaches) the past several months.

Oh, and I also got my B a Nicholas Sparks paperback, A Bend in the Road. Sort of a belated quid pro quo for the Murakami she got me. Right, B?

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My Weekend Loot

Now here's my Monday morning show and tell: my weekend loot. *Grin.*

Just because I really, really, really love Haruki Murakami and I was left wanting for more after finishing Norwegian Wood, I rushed to the nearest NBS last Saturday and got myself The Wind-up Bird Chronicle. Later in the day, my B sent me this SMS: I got Kafka, which meant she has found me Kafka on the Shore which was unfortunately unavailable at the first NBS we went to.


Then a good friend who came home from a Holland trip brought me these beauties: two EFFEN vodka shotglasses. These shotglasses are the fourth addition to my collection with liquor design.

Lastly, someone has kindly donated this beautiful and precious elephant from India, taking it out of her display rack, forgetting about who gave it to her (who is somebody important) and lovingly added it to my display shelf. Can't thank you enough, B.

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So Long

So long, Toru... And even if you did not ask me, I will never forget you. Who could?

I can never forget you or Naoko, or Midori, or Reiko. I won't. I can’t. For you all taught me so much in death as in life in the two and a half months we spent together.

From you Toru, I learned so much about loving, giving, and taking, losing, and loving again. And what else? Hm. A lot. And that includes courage, integrity, responsibility, and hard work. From you, I also learned to deal with pain, and loss, and death.

I felt your pain when you knew Naoko was thinking of Kizuki while she was holding on to you. I understood your confusion when Midori kissed you in the rain, and felt your longing when you made it with Reiko after Naoko’s death. I cried with you when you cried because Naoko is dead.

You put death in an entirely different perspective for me when you said that death exists, not as the opposite but as a part of life. How profound.

And just as I am saying farewell, I want you know that these are the most unforgettable lines I got from you:

No truth can cure the sadness we feel from losing a loved one. No truth, no sincerity, no strength, no kindness, can cure that sorrow. All we can do is see that sadness through to the end and learn something from it. ~ Toru Watanabe, Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami

But tell me, Toru, if we meet, if we ever meet, would you talk to me like you talk to Reiko? Would you write to me as you wrote to Naoko? Would you leave me too as you left Midori?

Despite your flaws and little imperfections, you are who you are, and there are only a few men in this world like you, Toru Watanabe. And your flaws and imperfections only make you humanely perfect and endearing to the many women in your life: Naoko, Midori, and Reiko.

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Pens Galore!

I've always loved pens, and I've always wanted pens. Lots of. Through time, I've accumulated so much but held on to the really special ones. Below are the pens on my stash:

Mon Ami Gel Pets

Non-Pilot Gel Pens

Pilot Gel Pens

The lot.

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My Newest

Here's the most recent addition to my growing toy collection, a Choro-Q firetruck. This one's #18 on the Choro-Q list, and it's my second Choro-Q toy, a very memorable gift from someone very special. Well, I'm glad that I now have all the firetrucks from the Cho-Q lineup. I'm hoping to get the police cars next time...

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Love Is...

Pik-One milk chocolate wafers...

... and butterflies!!! Three butterflies on a sunny Thursday morning...

I know I said three and only thought of two, so You immediately sent me the two, way long before the deadline I specified. Sometimes You do work in mysterious ways that's unique, overwhelming, and suprising. Gracias, Papa...

Pik-One photo courtesy of Christian Bering of http://www.flickr.com/photos/bering/

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My Favorite Pen

This Rotring Core Rubidium with an XL nib is surprisingly my current favorite pen. It uses cartridges instead of converters, and slurps up ink like a thirsty camel. So I stocked up on Inoxcrom cartridges, which surprisingly (and thankfully) fits this baby. This beauty is the fourth on my budding collection of fancy fountain pens, my first German, and my third red.

I am surprised that it has become my favorite writer because even if I collect them, I rarely use my fountain pens for everyday writing. My everyday, anyday writers are my 3-color Pilot G2 .5 set with some of the other gels (Uni Ball, Dong-A, Faber Castell, etc.) in my pen roll. I had always been faithful to my gels. This one, however, gave me something else: an instant connection the moment I inserted the cartridge with blue ink. And though it guzzles down ink like a leaking faucet, I just love its fat, broad, wet streak when I write with it. And perhaps its ergonomic grip, or the bright red of its barrel?

What is amusing is the fact that when I purchased this pen, I was meaning to buy another Rotring, the 600. But the store has ran out of them, and so I got what fancied my eye: The Rubidium.

And we had since been inseparable. At least for now.

Below are photos of how I wrote using my Rubidium.

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My Fountain Pens

I really do not know how I got into the hobby of fountain pen collecting. I know I have always preferred gel pens and ballpoints for my everyday writing. Perhaps my interest in getting more of these interesting pens started when my sister-in-law Jelyn gave me a Parker Vector a few years back. It was an interesting gift but not interesting enough that I kept the pen but didn't use it.

Months later, I went to attend a writing class and felt the urge to use the pen so I finally inked it and used it during our writing exercises.

My Parker Vector and my first bottle of Quink black.

Later on, when I got interested in buying Moleskine notebooks, I also became interested in getting more fountain pens. But I have just moved into my apartment and money had to go elsewhere and so I could not afford to add more to the Vector to start a collection. It was only until early this year when I was able to get another, a blue Inoxcrom Vivaldi. Even that cannot be considered a 'serious' pen by purists. Then again, I cannot collect vintage pens now. Not yet. So I focused on the 'fancy' types of fountain pens, especially the ones from Inoxcrom and Rotring.

Here are my Inoxcrom Vivaldis. The blue one has my name engraved on its barrel. I'll get the pink one later on to complete the trio.

And then two Saturdays ago, I went malling with a friend and got myself these three. (Yes, I got three fountain pens in a day.)

Top to bottom: My Rotring Core Rubidium, a red Inoxcrom Vivaldi, and a P-200, another Inoxcrom. Among the three, only the Rubidium has been inked.

Above are my five fountain pens. I'll be getting more later. More reds, more blues, more... Yellows? Greens? Basta more...

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A New Notebook

Here's the most recent addition to my growing notebook collection: a colorful notebook from Korea. The cover says it's a Study Planner, but actually I don't feel it is. The inside pages are divided into different colors: black, blue, and orange. The plastic cover has a button closure to keep the pages together. It's a fun notebook!

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From Serendipity

It's overwhelming what serendipity can sometimes do to us. Yesterday, while I was waiting for a friend, I went to a record bar to while away the time. As I browsed through records and movies, Michelle Krusiec's face greeted me.

I was speechless and motionless as I tentatively picked the DVD, but when I read the title, I almost jumped with joy. I've always wanted to have a copy of this Alice Wu movie for years now. And so I bought the DVD, watched it last night, picked up some touchy lines from Vivian (Lynn Chen) and Wil (Michelle Krusiec), and then I'll be watching it again tonight while I sip some lemon tea a friend sent me this morning.

Isn't it great?

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September 2

Everything in this world is just so tentative, so unsure, so uncertain.

Often, what is beautiful gets muddled by what is twisted and cruel. Often, what is good gets askewed by what is unkind and spiteful.

Ah, well. Nobody ever said that life is perfect. Or fair. Somehow, somewhere there will always be someone who is better and stronger, who is ready to outshine everyone, and always ready to beat anyone.

This is life's absurdity, its inconsistency. But somewhere in its paradox, lies the test, the beauty, that which is good. And so we remain in awe of this mystery called life.

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More Toys

I got myself more toys!!! Here are my new Tomica truck carriers: #14, which is a Mitsubishi Super Great Car Carrier, and #47, an Animal Carrier.

And now that my interest moves to collecting police cars too, here is my first Tomica police car, a Toyota Probox Voluntary Service Police Car scaled at 1/57.

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New Toys

Got myself new toys yesterday. I got two new Tomicas, both Toyota Coasters, #92 and #118. I'm not keeping away from my passionate affair with firetrucks and trucks, I just couldn't resist the coasters when I saw them. Who could? Look at these beauties here:

Above is TOMY #92, a Toyota Coaster scaled at 1/89. Below is #118, the Toyota Kindergarten Bus, also scaled at 1/89.

I'll get the buses next time around. (Grin.)

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Panic with A Capital P

PANIC! PANIC! PANIC!!!

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August 15

My word for the day: PATIENCE.

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This One's for You, H

You are all I know of love
How could I ask for more
You're everything I'm dreaming of

You're all I need from love
And every star above
Spells out your name
I swear I'll always feel the same

You're all I want from love...

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An Apology

I apologize deeply if I disappoint you. Really. I did not mean to, never meant to.

Come by here another day and maybe I will not disappoint you anymore. Okay, S?

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Love That Will Never Grow Old

It's Friday once again.

Come to think of it. It's been six Fridays since I wrote Heartbreak. It's not the same since, and it won't be the same again, but life went on. It will go on.

Though on some occasions, like this morning when I was rummaging through my closet and saw something that reminded me of her, the pain returns, but only a dull ache now exists in my heart.

And because I love her so much, I want to sing this song to her, one that's on the Brokeback Mountain soundtrack: music by Argentine composer Gustavo Santaolalla, lyrics by Bernie Taupin, and performed by Emmylou Harris.

Go to sleep, may your sweet dreams come true
Just lay back in my arms for one more night
I've this crazy old notion that calls me sometimes
Saying this one's the love of our lives.

Cause I know a love that will never grow old
And I know a love that will never grow old.

When you wake up the world may have changed
But trust in me, I'll never falter or fail
Just the smile in your eyes, it can light up the night
And your laughter's like wind in my sails.

Lean on me, let our hearts beat in time
Feel strength from the hands that have held you so long
Who cares where we go on this rutted old road
In a world that may say that we're wrong.

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Remember Them?

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