It’s Time

It’s time to update, yes.

The past month was another trying time for me. While it was a highly anticipated month for various reasons, such as NaNoWriMo, and several birthdays (Tatay on the 4th, me - 23; Theresa – 26; and finally, Lilia on the 30th), something else happened (again). *Sigh.*

The birthdays went fine, except mine. But that’s okay. What’s breaking my heart now is missing NaNoWriMo (again) this year. I had a great start, with 17k words already on the 5th, making me swell with pride and confidence that this year could be my NaNoWriMo year. But, no. After three attempts, I realized that the odds are still against me. Don’t get me wrong, please. I’m not making excuses for not finishing my novel this year. I tried. God knows how hard I tried to finish it. I’ve even went to as far as 23,500 words, but something came up that made me stop.

It was on the 16th that something alarming happened. It was a Friday, the end of an unusually stressful week. I was, unfortunately, alone at our office room when an extremely painful headache attack came. It started as a dull pain coming from the lower back of my head, then progressed very fast to the upper part, affecting my vision and making me nauseous. I thought I was only hungry and tried to eat, but the pain became so terrible that I had to ask officemates from a nearby room to rush me to the clinic which is quite far from our building. At the clinic, I was immediately given oxygen support and was told to lie down to rest for a while. They gave me cold and hot compresses to reduce the pain, but to no avail. I had the shock of my life when I learned that my blood pressure rose to a high 160/110! At that time, my hands and feet were numb and very, very cold. And all the time my blood pressure stayed at that reading: 150-160/110. Later on, I was given a very strong painkiller and another drug to lower my BP. Perhaps the combination relaxed me a bit and I dozed off. Half an hour later, I felt woozy when I woke up, but definitely a lot better without the throbbing pain and nausea. Still, my BP was on a high, and to my surprise, what I thought would be a simple consultation lasted three hours!

The following week brought me to three different doctors: an ophthalmologist, a neurologist, and an IM, but all three recommend the same procedures: both MRI and MRA scans. –Gulp.–

My neurologist, Dr. Valencia, suspects that it’s migraine, and so does my IM, Dr. Torres. But Dr. Valencia wants to rule out the possibility that there may be AV malformation, or aneurysms somewhere. *Sigh.* Uh-oh. Aside from the MRI and MRA scans, I was also asked to do a lot of laboratory procedures to check on my cholesterol, sugar, and mineral levels. I will also go through other lab tests to check my thyroid. I had a thyroidectomy three years ago, and Dr. Torres feels it’s about time my thyroid functions get checked again. *Sigh.*

And after all those consultations, and lab tests (I haven’t done the MRI and MRA scans yet), a simple recommendation came from all of them: sleep. Lots of sleep and rest. And sleep I did. Not because it’s recommended, not because I am just a lazy bum finding excuses of not finishing my novel, but because my body commands it. Nowadays, if I am still awake at 11pm, I am lucky. So no more Miami Ink for me now. And no more late night movies too. Aw, crap. Now I can’t wait for the Christmas/New Year break to come so I can fully rest and sort of get a long-needed tune up.

And then hopefully by November next year I will join NaNoWriMo again.

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Garage Floors

It’s been a while since my last post. A lot has happened, my novel is still not finished, I am in need of MRI and MRA scans, and I’m having trouble with my headache attacks.



But… last night I dreamt of a two-car garage with a firetruck-red Miata inside. Whoa. But what I saw in my dream is kinda unsettling for an OC like me. Ehehe. There are stuff strewn everywhere, the tools are simply placed in one heap on top of a battered table, and the garage floor’s coating is cracked and is full of oils stains. Well, I searched the Net and found this cool site called Car Guy Garage. It’s a cool site where they offer neat solutions for all or any garage needs: lighting, flooring, cabinets, shelves, pegboards, tool boxes, benches and tables, racks, and other great stuff for cars: compressors, tools, garage clocks, car décor, and hoses. They even sell an uber cool Von Dutch garage refrigerator! Check them out at http://carguygarage.com/.



Here's a small introduction from Car Guy Garage:



Do you have a new house with a fresh concrete garage floor? Do you have an older home with a cracked concrete garage floor? Is the concrete in your garage stained with oil?



We carry many different solutions for garage floors and would like to know what your garage floors look like so that we can understand which products we need to focus on in our store. New concrete floors are best treated with a garage floor coating like epoxy which is easy to clean and lasts for years. Older cracked or stained floors are sometimes easier just covered with tile. What does your garage floor look like? Pictures of your garages are always helpful too.



Thanks, CarGuyGarage.com





Cool! Way cool!

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After 17,000 words, I Need A Break

I finally got past the 15,000-word mark last night. It's a word count that I set for myself to write during the whole 4-day weekend Halloween holiday here in the Philippines. Lucky Me?

In between commuting from my apartment and my parents' house, (can't stay there, it's already a madhouse with three kids--sometimes five--and I couldn't write in such a noisy place) I did some writing--a lot of writing. Hear me out, I'm not bragging about it, I only needed to write more while I could because this week and all the coming ones this month are overflowing. And so while on an 'imposed' legally declared national official and special holidays, I wrote in a frenzy like crazy...

Also my eyes are hurting now I need to give them some badly needed rest. But that doesn't mean I'll stop writing. I still am writing, only not as frenzied and hurried and crazy like I did for the past four days... (*winks*)

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I'm Away for NaNoWriMo '07

I'm trying to write a novel this month, and so my erratic blog-posting habit will be more, uh, erratic. I'm writing a novel similar to the theme I used last year, I only modified some characters, scenes, situations, etc. It's an erotic fiction (*blushes*) and I am truly itching to finish it this year. (Never mind if I have a 15-chapter book to help supervise production, and a new GS brief coming up.)

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Rain Rain, Go Away...

All this rain is driving me nuts. It's been raining since Saturday! It's Thursday already and it's still raining. Good God. My feet are tired and aching from wearing a leather almost-waterproof shoes. Makes me miss the dry, sunny days when I can wear those super-comfy Converse Chuck Taylors...

My red Chucks, taken on a Monday morning sometime last month.

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Important Notebooks

The two important notebooks in my life right now:

my blue Journal and my 2007 Starbucks diary planner.

Can't live without them, really. Just as I got busy with personal and family stuff over the weekend, I was unable to write anything in my Journal at all. I felt so guilty and irresponsible, that when I saw it in my bag last night I wanted to hug it. (sigh) But well, all that guilt went away after I wrote five pages of Journal entry to recap everything for the weekend. Redeemed myself, eh?

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It's the time of the year

It’s that time of the year again.

It’s the time of the year again when thousands of writers around the world write novels like crazy for 30 days, max. It’s time of the year when thousands of them lose sleep, numb their fingers typing their novels, and get overdosed on caffeine. It's the time of the year when writers around the globe go through the same pain and joy producing a novel. It's a temporary respite from most social activities as more time gets devoted to writing the novel.

Oh, yes, it’s NaNoWriMo time once again!

Beginning October of the current year (sometimes earlier, for most), enthusiasts rush in to do all the necessary preparation to complete their novels. They do research, for it is an important tool in completeing a novel. A fact that most writers neglect. At this time, outlines are drawn, casting is done, characters are created, scenes are acted, and chapters are drafted. Registration to join NaNoWriMo also starts in October, when participants can start updating their profiles and joining forums.

Then the frenzy begins at 12:01 am on November 1, with authors scrambling to begin writing their novels. In all of November, the goal is to write a 50,000-word novel (or 175 pages), to be finished by midnight of November 30. Once done with the 50k, one becomes a winner, and given a certificate and web icon. But more importantly, by the end of NaNoWriMo, a winner becomes a novelist.

In 2006, more than 79,000 participants joined in. Almost 13,000 made it to the Honor Roll of winners and walked away as novelists. Let’s see what this year has got to offer.

I’m joining this year’s NaNoWriMo, with hopes of getting that elusive web icon winner; and with much preparation than last year, more prayers that my dayjob will allow me more time, and less stress working on this year’s GS. (*wink*)

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It's Been A Month

The Archer’s Chronicles is 1 month old today. Hmmm... That translates to 60 pages of more than 17,000 words written in the last 31 days. Whoa.

It also means that I have successfully chronicled the last 31 days of my life.

Indeed, this is the most serious Journal I’ve had in my entire life. I always say serious because I have kept it updated on a daily basis. I treat it with respect. And foremost, I have kept it decent. Anyone can peer into my Journal and not one indecent word in there. Not even in my darkest moments of anger and despair.

I love my Journal for two reasons, and two reasons only. First, because it contributes to my life’s balance and orderliness; and second, because I just love to write, and my Journal is the perfect writing companion for me.

My Journal helps me in so many ways, too. It helps me track important events not only in my life, but also in my family’s. My Journal keeps me company when I am so sad and alone at night; rejoices with me when I am happy; even claps for me when I receive good words for an accomplishment. As a writer, I love writing events and other stuff as they happen, because I believe doing so helps me to effectively capture the moment. And so leaving the house without it makes me feel incomplete especially if I need to be away for long periods of time.

I love to decorate my Journal with stickers, drawings, and other stuff. I attach photos related to any topic I write about, and other mementos that can be attached to its pages: ticket passes, receipts, tags, stamps, etc. The list can just go on.

Though the pages are cramped with my longhand together with some of the stuff mentioned above, I keep it neat. I mean, I try to keep erasures, smudges, and dirty smears at the minimum. I guess that's what I truly meant when I said I treat it with respect. After all, buried in those pages are moments of my life written in longhand.

I am also very keen and choosy with the kind of pens and the type of inks I use when I write on its white, clean pages. I love a pen that's consistent and comfortable to use. For my Journal, I use the best pens with the best inks. After all, this Journal contains very important things about me. Oh, I’m writing about me. I’m writing about my life.

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Regalos de Perú

UPDATE: The design on the back cover (and also printed on all the inside pages) that looks like a totem (to me, at least) is a tumi. According to Wikipedia, a tumi is "a sacrificial ceremonial knife distinctly characterised by a semi-circular blade, made of either bronze, copper, gold-alloy, or silver alloy used by Inca and pre-Inca cultures in the Peruvian Coastal Region." For more details, read the article here.

My boss went to Lima, Peru last week for a speaking engagement. She came home last Monday and kindly gave me pasalubong stuff to add to my growing treasure chest: a notebook and a shotglass. Wee!!! The notebook is such a beauty, I was really speechless when I saw it. And the shotglass is so unique. But I'll do another post about that.

The front and back covers are made of thick leather, both embossed and painted. Unlike other leather items from other places, this one is not smelly. It even has a tangy smell to it, something that tells you it's new, it's clean, and it's real leather.

On the front cover is a group of men singing and facing a mountain while a hawk hovers above them. Embossed is the word 'Cusco'. Internet research showed Cusco is a city in southeastern Peru, near the Urubamba Valley of the Andes mountain range. This means that the mountain embossed on my notebook is the Andes mountain range. Below that artwork is the word 'PERU', also embossed and painted in red and white.

On the back cover are three different artworks: a woman carrying a child with a llama beside them; a totem, and an abstract slanted border.

Printed like a watermark on the inside pages is an image similar to the totem embossed on the back cover.

The notebook's front cover.

The back cover.

Inside pages.

Details of the front cover.

Details of the back cover.

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Vintage Shotglasses?

Whoa. These two shotglasses were presented to me as gifts by someone I do not know. The shotties came wrapped in layers of old newspapers with a note: "I just cleaned out my cupboards and saw these. Thought they may be good to add into your collection."

Well, they may be vintage shotglasses, considering the design. But I'm no expert here. I will have to consult other glass experts later. After careful inspection, I saw water stains inside the glasses, and they have to be removed. Very minor flecks of water stains, though. Nothing that a vinegar and water solution will not remove. Now, whoever that kind person is, here's a big THANK YOU!!! And hopefully I can say my thanks in person someday.

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More Notebooks, More Pens…

In my trips to Manila, I always visit a National Bookstore branch. To me, a trip is incomplete without visiting any NBS shop. Or any bookstore for that matter. It’s the time I browse for books, buy a notebook or two, and splurge on pens. And so last Thursday, after my “collecting” trip to the Summit Media offices at Robinson’s Galleria in Ortigas, it’s NBS time!

First stop: Notebooks!!! …and papers. I so wanted to buy a Mead notebook. They are so many to choose from, but I refrained from buying due to its uh, high price. Yeah, nanguripot ako bigla. I'd rather skip on the Mead and save up for another Moleskine. But lo and behold. At the end of the tall racks of notebooks are stacks of black NBS Best Buy notebooks. Great! Got myself one for a good 79 pesos. (Grin.) See, it even has an elastic band similar to the ones found on Moleskines.

NBS notebook, Pilot G2s, and Uniball Signo.

Next stop: pens, pens, pens galore! Hmmm… I could see gleaming Pilot G2s, Uniball Signos, MonAmis, and Rotrings in their glass shelves. This time, I am willing to spend. Hahaha! And so after a rush pen-shopping that left an irritated store clerk, I now have my own 0.7 Pilot G2 trio of black, blue and red; and a 0.5 Uniball Signo. I was drooling on other gel pens, but for practical reasons, I’m happy with my G2s and the Signo.

0.5 Uniball Signo and the 0.7 G2 trio.

My NBS foray was a bit rushed and I felt wanting more. I had to rush out to do other “city errands” to save on time and bus fare. Also, I can’t always be in Manila during weekdays, or my office backlog will pile up. So it was sort of bitin. The good, old Daddy up there might have heard by big *sigh* for another notebook because yesterday, while I’m on my way back to the office at lunch, I saw notebooks at a store near UP Gate selling at bargain prices. I picked a Merit college notebook still wrapped in plastic. Got it for 99 pesos. (It’s originally priced at 199.) Woohoohoo!!! The thick board cover has very minor creases, but the inside pages are still in immaculate, pristine condition. Hah.

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My 50th + 1

Shotglass No. 50

Shotglass number 50 is the shotglass that almost didn’t make it to my collection. Its seller didn’t reply to my email even after the bidding was finished, and I had to wait for several days to pay for it. Luckily though, they shipped it on time. But shotglass number 50’s odyssey did not end there. The courier service delivered it to the wrong addressee who surprisingly received the package even though it is clearly not his. (The package is under my name, for Pete’s sake.) To end the story, I finally got the shotglass and here it is. It’s the 50th into my growing collection. Warmest welcome.

Shotglass No. 51

If shotglass number 50 is my most anticipated shotglass yet, then number 51 is the one that surprised me the most. It’s a gift from my good friend Popen, an avid shotglass collector who introduced me to this interesting hobby. I got it the same day I got number 50, and it was the first time I got two new shotglasses from different people in a day’s time! Whew!

Number 51 is my first shooter shotglass, also the first from Hardrock Café, and only the second to come all the way from Singapore. A new shottie to welcome. Hmmm… a new shottie to show off.

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Moleskine, Dear Moleskine...

It felt like Christmas morning yesterday afternoon when the Aboitiz guy knocked on my office door. He's like Santa to me as he has something I had been praying so hard to have: my own Moleskine notebook. And yes, oh yes, I am now a certified Moleskine owner.

I remember a song that my aunts and uncles sang to me when I was a kid. It's an American folk song, but to me it is an unforgettable lullaby. Suprisingly, when my Moleskine arrived yesterday, I was humming the song in my head, unconsciously at first. Now I have my own Moleskine song.

Moleskine, Moleskine,

Oh my darling Moleskine.

You're now here to stay forever,

Never leave, my Moleskine...

The sealed Aboitiz 2GO Quickpack...

... my Moleskine large ruled notebook still wrapped in plastic...

... and finally, my Moleskine is unwrapped! See the stickers and brochure?

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My Journal, My Non-Living Best Friend

I've always tried to keep an updated Journal since I was a small kid. Sometimes I'll fill a notebook, but mostly, the pages are left empty after the first few get doodles of ink. Lately, after I moved back to the pen and paper scheme, I entertained the idea of keeping a journal/diary. And I took it seriously. Today, 19 days after I started writing, The Archer's Chronicles is 20 pages rich of scribbles, doodles, drawings, and stickers. For the last 19 days, it has become my non-living best friend.

My Journal is a blue 6.25 x 8.25 ruled spiral college notebook that used to be a concept notebook for my projects. The front and back covers are thick plastic, which protect the inside pages from scratches and dents while the notebook is inside my bag. The inside pages are made of inexpensive thin paper with the text "Wise Buy by Expressions" on the upper right portion of each page.

I use a variety of pens to write on my Journal, but mostly I use my 0.4 Pilot G-TECs. I also use other gel pens like the MonAmi Gel Pets and a blue 0.7 Pilot Super Gel Pen I like a lot. Some days call for that "special touch", and so I write with my Parker Vector fountain pen using black Parker Quink ink.

I usually write around midnight, when I'm done with housekeeping and television soap-opera and my neighborhood gets some semblance of calm and quiet. I like to write in silence. I always have. Silence brings me so much: words, emotions, remembrances--even sound. Lately, a new habit has formed, though, and I am suprised. I am beginning to like to write while the radio is tuned in to RJ100. It's such an excellent motivation to write.

Writing has become ceremonial for me. Almost ritualistic. I like to write after my night bath, with a mug of steaming hot tea next to me--sometimes Lyons Earl Grey, sometimes Tazo Green Tea. It depends. I like it steaming hot because I love the aroma of tea filling my writing corner of the room. My journal entries always begin with the day's date and time. I also include the background music. As I write, I slowly sip my tea.

After an entry, the tea is finished, and it's time for bed. Finally, I can sleep.

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My 49th

Here is the 49th addition to my shotglass collection. It's a University of Michigan souvenir shotglass manufactured by Libbey, shown by the embossed L script found on the outer bottom of the glass. It is my collection's 49th shotglass, first university souvenir, second Libbey glass (the first is the St. Louis Cardinals shotglass), and seventh to come all the way from the US of A.

Another one is coming up early this week.

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What Notebookism Says About the Archer

In the chaos of my Friday life... In the confusion of a hectic calendar... A kind soul uttered words that made my head spin and my heart skip a beat. Not in a romantic way, though.

This is what Sir Armard B. Frasco* said about this blog:

Kudos on your wonderful blog - a real paper/pen connoisseur's voyeuristic find.

Maraming salamat po, Sir Armand!


* Mr. Frasco is the Founder of Notebookism, a website showcasing notebook and notebook-related stories.

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Journal Happy

My Journal has got a name now! I'm calling it “The Archer’s Chronicles”, and then I designed a logo for it. Nice.

Photos to be posted later. Ehehe.

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My 48th

This is my 48th shotglass and it's cool that it's from a local alcohol advertising campaign. I consider it a treasure because it's a gift from someone I least expected to be giving me a gift after all we've been through.

My shotglass collection has surprisingly grown in the past several months, and I have created a gallery at Photobucket.com to make public viewing a bit easier. It also makes it possible for me to view them from time to time, rather than open the huge box where I keep them. I do not have a display case yet (and I'm saving up for at least one), so I am keeping them in a huge carton with each shotglass carefully wrapped in white paper.

Last weekend, I added six more shotglasses to my collection through an eBay purchase. It was actually a bargain because I got all six of them for only 190 Philippine pesoses. Wow. I got a Vancouver, B.C. shotglass, a Niagara Falls shotglass, a souvenir shotglass from the 1986 World Expo in Vancouver, two from the UK showing St. Paul's Cathedral and the Tower of London, and an advertising shotglass from Hong Kong. All of them below. And also here.

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Weekend Loot (Last Part)

This is it. The promised post for what I called 'massive weekend looting' in my two earlier entries. I call it that because I bought so much pens I'm wondering now how I'm going to use them. Besides, I have never in my life bought as many pens as the ones I bought last weekend. Add to that the Stradmore notepad and small reporter notebook I bought, plus the green shotglasses from Korea, and all the stuff EJ brought me from the US, Canada and China. I got three new shotglasses: my first US State shotglass (from Las Vegas, Nevada), a unique Hollywood shotglass, and another one from Canada. He also bought me a small pocket notebook in China. All of these items are in the photo below:

Saturday morning brought me to San Pablo to visit my niece Laicka who was in the hospital for dengue fever treatment. After a short visit, I grabbed lunch over at my parents' house and went back to San Pablo to look at the Pilot G2s my sister-in-law told are available at OSC Bookstore. Alas, the G2s are there, but what caught my attention are the MonAmi 'Love Pet' gel pens. They're just amazing. The product line has eight available colors, and the pens are square compared to the usual round shape. I love these pens so much I bought two sets!

After that, I hopped over to another supplies store, Expressions which is located at the city mall. I saw the MonAmi pens there, too. At Expressions, I bought a Stradmore notepad and a small reporter notebook.

After the pens and notebook/notepad shopping spree, I went to a thrift shop and saw the two green shotglasses from Korea. Ha. I had to buy them, too.

And not long after, I saw jelly cellphone housing for both my Nokia 1100 and 3100.

Ayayay, what a weekend!

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Weekend Loot (Part 2)

Pens Galore! These are gel pens from MonAmi called "Love Pets". Comes in colors: Black. Blue. Sky. Green. Wine. Rose. Pink. Orange. And as promised, more details on entries to come!

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Weekend Loot (Part 1)

Two shotglasses from Korea. Part of massive weekend looting that includes pens, notebooks, notepads and jelly cellphone housing. More details on entries to come!

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Back to Basics

People are probably confused why they now see me use an old Nokia 1100 and an even older Nokia 3100. I’m tempted to ask, what’s wrong with these phones, anyway? Friends are surprised to see me enjoy these two phones nowadays because they used to see me with high-tech phones and gadgets.

Barely a year ago, I carry in my backpack a small purse that contains, more or less, the following: a Nokia N70 (a craze at that time), a Sony Ericsson K608i, an HP1940 iPaq (with a wireless keyboard), a 6GB iPod Mini, and a Creative Zen Nano Plus. Also in the backpack are: Kodak digital camera, my 80GB external hard drive, two USB flash drives, USB card reader, USB port hub, three Phillips headsets, and an assortment of Cross, Parker, Sheaffer, and Inoxcrom pens. For safety reasons, my backpack’s zippers are always locked using two Master combination locks. Whew!

Fast forward to today.

I still carry the same backpack, and the same purse. (Grin.) But in the purse now are: two Nokias (1100 and 3100) and the iPod Mini. I still bring along the camera, external hard drive and flash drives, because clearly, they constitute a reasonable necessity. The card reader and USB port hub are either at the office or at home, but I have stopped carrying them with me.

There are new additions, though. (Big grin.) In my bag are my Starbucks 2007 planner, a personal journal that still needs a name (Grin. Grin. Grin.), and another notebook for what else, note-taking. (Big grin.) Also, there are more pens in my bag now, as I love to color code (and I love to hoard, according to Lilia). I purchased a set of three Pilot G-TEC-C4s (Bigger grin.) and a set of five HaloZee twin highlighters. Currently, I am drooling over the set of available-only-in-the-US Pilot G2 gel pens.

In terms of data management, I can say that I have truly gone back to the basics now. It didn’t take me overnight to do that, though, and quite a number of reasons contributed to this ‘historic’ change.

My iPaq. The PDA that is supposed to make life easier for me (and for others, too) only made things worse. I had an earlier version (1930) which worked well, and so I thought the 1940 will work along fine, if not better. But I was wrong. Sometimes it doesn’t synchronize with either my PC or laptop. At times, the battery is suddenly drained of power even after a full charge. But what busted my patience was when it didn’t turn on minutes before an important presentation at a staff meeting. All of my notes were in the iPaq, and I had to reconstruct everything out of memory. So after seven months of using an iPaq1940, I decided I had to part with it.

My 3G phones. Like so many Filipinos, I liked to keep up with the growing trend in cellphone fashion. So that when the first batch of 3G phones came in the market, I immediately grabbed not one, but two new handsets. For the price I had to pay for them, they were clearly a big investment. And so when the time for need came along, I was forced to ditch them and learn a hard lesson: I only need a phone that can send and receive calls and messages. Period. It was a big heartbreak for me and it was a lesson learned the hard way, but still a lesson, anyway.

Going back to the basics did not come to me overnight. And it obviously became possible through a variety of reasons. But for several months now, I have been immensely enjoying a less-electronically-constipated life. My Nike backpack is heavier with three notebooks and dozens of pens inside, but I have no regrets. Not one bit. It’s a little tough for my back, but the satisfaction I get when I read my notes and journal entries is indescribable. Call it OA, but it's an amazing experience. I admit missing TextTwist and Bejewelled in the iPaq, but I guess I'll just consider it one among my life's big (and not-s0-big) trade-offs.

For now, at least. (Biggest grin.) Tomorrow is another day.

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What's in My Bag

In August, Lifehacker.com asked its readers to send in photos of their 'Go Bags'. A photo submitted must show all the contents of a 'Go Bag', and a full text description. Lifehacker was so swamped with submissions that they had to do Parts 2 and 3.

When I submitted my entry, they were well into the 2nd part. But Part 3 came and my bag still wasn't selected. Oh, well. So here it is. My own 'Go Bag'. (Note: below the photo is a full description of my bag's contents.)

1. Foldable fan. Very useful in the hot and humid Philippine climate.
2. Small pouch. I use this to carry several items like keys, cellphones, wallet, mp3 players and flash drives. Very handy when I need to go out to lunch, or when I run errands and I cannot bring my back pack, like when I do grocery shopping.
3. My Nokia 3100. Super durable, super efficient. It’s been with me since November 2005 and I never had any problems with it. Not even with its battery.
4. My Samsung SGH-X160. It’s good to have two phones with two different mobile carriers. In case the other doesn't work, I can still have the other.
5. My blue 6G iPod mini. I love it! Thanks to Apple for blue iPods.
6. Alternate mp3 player. Creative Zen 512M.
7. Combination locksets for my bag’s two zippered compartments. I use these when I need to leave/deposit my backpack, like in the supermarket or bookstore.
8. My luckiest LA Gear wallet. Had this one since 1999. Super durable.
9. Baby lotion. A quick solution for skin dryness especially inside our air conditioned office rooms. It helps that this is water-based so it’s light. I don’t get the “sticky” feel.
10. Baby cologne. So refreshingly sweet. Can’t go wrong with this.
11. Comb. Useful when needed. Not that I always need to tidy up my short hair.
12. Visine. When my eyes get tired and strained.
13. My medication for asthma. Symbicort and Ventolin.
14. Toothpaste and toothbrush.
15. My blue earphones.
16. My black earphones. I need two earphones. I don’t know why, but I do. Hee-hee.
17. Bench™ hankie and a small towel (underneath the hankie).
18. External drive with 80G capacity and its cable.
19. Flashdrives. 2G (black) and 256M (gray)
20. ID card.
21. Rosary. This one’s very precious to me because it was a gift from my youngest brother.
22. Small expandable folder to hold and organize receipts, post-it notes, business cards, and other ID cards. It also has my passport and flu vaccination card.
23. Pill box. It contains all of my medicines for allergies, GERD, and various first aid medications: aspirin, paracetamol, loperamide.
24. Isopropyl alcohol. 70%. A small bottle is always very handy.
25. Off lotion. It’s a mosquito repellent lotion.
26. Small pouch containing cables, card reader, and a USB port hub.
27. Pens. Pens. Pens. And lots of pens.
28. The Body Shop’s clear lip gloss.
29. Blistex Gloss and Shine.
30. Mesaki lip shine. Green Apple and BubbleGum.
31. Body Shop lip balms. Satsuma and Strawberry.
32. Berroca. Best upper ever. Better than coffee.
33. Compact mirror.
34. My Starbucks 2007 Diary Planner. Can’t go out of the house without it. Also has a small notebook inside the leather case.
35. Glasses. One dark, while the other is my “working” glasses.
36. Keys. For my apartment, for the office.
37. Finally, an incomplete photo of the “go” bag. It’s a Nike black and gray back pack, bought at a sports store in February 2006, which makes it an 19-month old bag. But never underestimate it, though. This bag’s been with me to Thailand, Batangas, Boracay, anywhere! And it’s still standing. Hurray!!! It’s one tough bag.

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On to Happier Things…

Now that I am slowly getting back into the regular grind of things, let me post my ‘new’ wish list.




1. Notebook.

I want a Moleskine 2008 Diary!!! Woohoo!!! May be a good change from using Starbucks Diaries for three years now. Moleskine is a bit expensive, though. Hmmm…





2. Bag.

A new Timbuk2™ “Track Day Pack” backpack. It is waterproof, has a rubberized bottom, and it’s blue!!! It also has a headphone port. Wow. Not that I am in a hurry to dump my old, reliable Nike. It’s still doing fine and looks as new as it was the day I bought it. But I’d really love to have a Timbuk2™ backpack.


3. Shirts.

Any colorful, unique, comfortable shirts will do to replace my older ones that are beginning to fray and fade. Ehehe. I want the Nike “BALLS” tee I saw last week.

4. Jeans.

I own more than a dozen pair of jeans, but I want to buy one with the “distressed” look. Could be Diesel, Dickies, or Lee.

5. Sneakers.

A pair of Rocket Dog™ “Joint” sneakers. I am drooling at this beauty. Although I will always be a Chucks lover, other sneaks are welcome every now and then.

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How I Got By

Most of us go through significant experiences in our lives. Some are hilarious and even comical, leaving us breathless with laughter. Some are bold, daring, and risky, while others are awfully dreadful. And while others are trivial, some experiences, however, are just so difficult that we are left panting and heaving in their intensity. In time, through our experiences, we find ourselves changed, if not tainted.

The two months of summer had been surprisingly easy for me. Though I was mostly miserable because of Lilia’s departure, so much was happening at any given time that I forgot to dwell on my loss. I became busy adjusting to apartment living. Though living alone could be depressing at times, it is only proper to say that it has also brought me immense joy and peace.

In June, a certain gloom crept in. I could not explain it, but it felt like a huge weight was slowly pressing me down to the ground. In spite of my efforts to liven things up, everything went askew for me.

Though I will always remember June as the month when I became a published writer, I certainly cannot forget the difficult financial woes I went through during this time. It was a difficult struggle coming up with the copious amounts I needed. And so after covering all the unexpected expenses in June, I could barely make ends meet in July. It breaks my heart to look back at the difficulties I had to deal with. I remember being stranded by a downpour one Sunday afternoon. While waiting it out, I browsed a shop’s collection of cheap second hand books and saw Nicholas Sparks’ Message in A Bottle selling for 179 Philippine pesos. Sadly, I had to turn away.

By mid-July, my desperation hit an alarming level, but I kept my composure. I kept my composure so that nobody knew or noticed how troubled I am. And though I was panicking like hell, I tried my best to remain calm. I tried my best to practice grace under all the pressure. Oh, there were tears in between, but those painful tears were all shed in privacy. There were many sleepless nights, but only my bedroom saw my restlessness. In my moments of despair and pain, silence became my refuge and ally. In my sadness and fear, prayers shielded me and fortified my faith.

July was hard, it is true. And grueling. Yet it liberated me. It was definitely a humbling of a different kind. It taught me perseverance, tolerance, and best of all, acceptance. It blessed me with patience and peace, and built my faith. It brought me back honor and dignity. But most of all, it gained me respect.

And that was how I got by in all the ugliness of July.

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Life Went By...

The past month of July has been the ugliest July I went through in my entire 33 years of existence. During which, my life went by in a horrific, gruesome, monstrous progression while I sat watching by.

But, oh yes, life went by.

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Hanging On

Over the last half of the month, after my last post, things went rather awry for me. I do not understand why, but things just simply went askew… But, oh yes, I’m still alive. Breathing, at least. But barely hanging on...

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Some Updates on the Domestic Front

I have finally got my apartment windows new sheets of curtain. Thanks to my mother for going with me to Panching's in San Pablo to buy the cloth and for asking her friend to sew it for me.

I never knew it was that easy to have curtain sheets sewn. I was even surprised to know that choosing the cloth for your own curtains is actually fun! Although the argument about the blue top accent was not fun at all. My mother wanted me to choose a 'happier' color like pink, or yellow, or orange. But I was firm. Sorry, Ma. I want BLUE. Period.

I just love the way the sunlight going through the windows seem to illuminate the whole room because of the curtains' color and texture. Don't you? I took this photo yesterday morning as soon as the sun shone a little brighter so I can capture the 'brightness' through the sheer.

Now I can return the curtains I borrowed from my mother. Ehehe.

And...

The bench I had custom-made for me by a local furniture maker in Calauan has been delivered yesterday...

It feels so good to sit, lie down, or to simply stare lovingly at this bench. I love the fact that it is made of tangile wood, which according to my father is next to narra in quality. I am thinking of adding a thin cushion to it, covered in cheesecloth, and also decorate it with small and medium pillows in ecru and blue. Hay. Sarap ng feeling. In the first photo above, I placed one of my two Batibot stools next to the bench. The stools are my fist furniture purchase way back in 2005. I bought the two for a thousand pesos only. It's a bargain! Now they are classic pieces that my mother wants to steal. Hahaha!!!

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Thanks, Inez

"Bigti" Songs? Hahaha!!! You had me laughing so hard I almost feel off my chair while figuring out why a lot of people from South Africa share just one email address.

Thanks to my friend Inez, and her blog entry called "Bigti Songs" which she dedicated to me.

Hay, Nez. I really miss the old days when you and Biboy were still here.

When we'd hang out in his apartment and watch the evening news.

When the three of us would go to JJ and just drink all the alcohol we wanted.

When we'd laugh so hard at private jokes and read all those gay Star Wars script (remember?).

Those days we spent together as friends (more than mere officemates) are great, if not the best. Miss you guys!

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C is for Carolina

"C" is for Carolina. And it will be the name carrier for a product line I have been conceptualizing for a long time now. For starters, I'll do personalized, one-of-a-kind, hand-painted tee-shirts. Hah. A friend suggested I try doing bags and pouches. Will do. Ehehe.

And just now, as I was tidying up my bag, I saw my plain blue folded umbrella. Hmmm...

I will create a new blog/site for the products and announce it here. Watch out for the shirts!

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A Malnourished Weekend

SATURDAY

Breakfast: A mug of cold Milo and Skyflakes.

Lunch: Lucky Me Instant Noodles (Bulalo flavor)

Dinner: 2 slices of Buko Pie from El-Mare

(No snacks. Yup. No snacks for me.)

SUNDAY

Breakfast: a slice of cold Buko Pie

Lunch: 2 slices of cold Buko Pie and a bag of garlic and onion flavored Brean Pan

Dinner: Steamed Jasmine Rice and Tuyo flakes dipped in a mix of vinegar, sweet onions and lots and lots of siling labuyo!!!

And it all started with Friday night's dinner of Purefood's canned sisig...

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An Idea Gone Wild and Wilder Gets Scrapped

It is quite obvious that the last two months of my life is far from blissful. I really do not know for sure how I get by. People may shun me for being too emotional, and some even think that I am just over-reacting. Hell, no. I guess no human being would want to go through the pain I go through, and it is my deepest prayer that everyone is spared from this emotional torture.

This dilemma has led me to consider an idea that has long been haunting me. Well, let us also include the fact that watching more “L Word” episodes lately has also influenced my current outlook. And that elders in the family have been constantly nagging me about my “solitary” life.

It all started with Season I’s pilot episode, where Bette and Tina decided to have a baby and began to search for a sperm donor. And so I said, why can’t I? Have a baby, I mean. For a start, I thought of adoption. I then sought the ideas and opinion of my closest friends, whose unanimous response is negative. They all want me to have a baby, yes. But they want me to have my own baby. Uh-oh. Then it became a very complicated idea.

Complicated because I do not know if I can handle it. I understand that it’s a wild idea and it entails a lot of careful planning and drastic adjustments on my part. Should I decide to pursue it.

And the biggest, most nagging, scariest question is HOW do I do it? Who would be the genetic donor in the first place? And granted that some kind soul agrees to be the donor, how do I proceed with the whole process of pregnancy? How would I deal with it living alone? How would it affect my work and career? Would I be able to keep my job if the office learns that I am pregnant and do not have a husband? (Sigh…) And later on, how do I deal with motherhood as a single parent?

Oh, hell. Why did I ever consider this idea in the first place?

See? It’s truly only a wild idea, after all. And finally, the verdict for me is to simply scrap it. Yup. Scrap the idea. Then again, the words of my godmother linger in my mind, when she told me that I am not getting any younger, and that I must do something about my life while I still can so I will not regret not having done it later on in life.

But still, it will always remain that--an idea. A scrapped idea.

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"On-the-surface", "Dirt-digging" Schemes (by Clem)

Over lunch yesterday, my colleagues and I shared funny anecdotes about housekeeping. I was actually surprised that they found my housekeeping habits a little ‘radical’. Ehehe.

After moving into my own apartment two months ago, I came up with two housekeeping schemes. (Schemes?!? Wahahaha!!!) One that I do during the week, an “on-the-surface” thing which I do two or three times between Monday morning and Saturday evening. The other is an intense, almost ceremonial “dirt-digging” routine done once a week, usually on Sundays. Well, to understand my “on-the-surface” housekeeping, I have to share my “dirt-digging” thing first. Ahaha. (Grin.)

The “dirt-digging” routine usually starts after dinner, around nine o’clock. I start by doing a thorough inspection of my fridge. Anything that’s five days old is thrown away. I wipe clean the entire fridge if it’s not time yet to defrost. (Defrosting is another matter, though. It’s done once every two weeks.) Then I do the dishes. I take everything out of the dish rack and wash everything—dishes and rack. Then I scrub the sink and the sink counter.

While the dishes, rack, sink and counter dry, I start cleaning the bathroom, making sure everything gets washed, scrubbed and disinfected—caddies, soap dish, towel hangers, walls, floor, toilet.

Then I do the rooms. And that’s when I turn the music on (classical, latin, or jazz) and pop open a beer, or pour wine—it depends on what’s available. Then the ritual begins.

I have two rooms in my apartment and I usually start cleaning/tidying the one I use as my bedroom. I begin by swiping off small cobwebs from the ceiling—formed during the past week. Then I clean window panes and wipe clean the walls (yes, the walls…). I then change the sheets and pillowcases, plump the pillows and put them in fresh ones. I sweep and wipe the floor clean with a dishcloth rinsed in water diluted with disinfectant. Then I close the door. Hahaha.

Once done with the bedroom, I move to the other room which I use as storeroom and work area. Basically, I do everything on this room as I did on the first room, except changing sheets. In this room, I check clothes drawers and closets and make sure every piece is in its proper place. I put little post-its with descriptions on my folded shirts so it’s easy to locate my “I Scored Last Night” or “Size Does Matter” tees when I want to wear them. Ahaha. If I need to refold and rearrange anything in my undies drawer, I also do it. Once done, I close the door.

Then I start on the living area. Since I do not have any furniture pieces except my two “Batibot” stools, cleaning the living area is fast and very easy. I sweep the area clean with a good old walis, and then start wiping the floor with a clean dishcloth. The area between ceramic tiles (the flooring material used by the owners) usually gets very dirty so I use a small brush to make sure the dirt comes out. It always makes me feel so good after doing this when the floor begins to shine because it’s clean! So clean I could eat a meal off one tile. Ehehe.

But it’s not the end yet. Hahaha. There is a small wash area between the kitchen/dining area and the bathroom. And so I scrub that area too, using a heavy duty strong plastic brush. Then I change bags in the garbage bins, scrub clean the dust pans, brushes, and dishcloths I used previously.

I usually finish around two or three in the morning. After that, I love to take a long bath and finish whatever I started sipping—beer or wine. Then it’s off to dreamland. Ahaha.

So that’s my “dirt-digging” thing. The “on-the-surface” thing is a less strenuous routine, where I do basic cleaning, sweeping off floors, changing doormats, or cleaning organizers when I feel the need to. Then it becomes very superficial compared to the previous routine and which also explains why it is a simple “on-the-surface” thing.

Do I get tired? Of course. Believe me, I do. But it’s good therapy after all.

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Why I Feel Good About Myself

Friends who read my earlier post either emailed or sent me messages via SMS asking about it.

My apologies, pipol, but I really have to keep it a secret.

Let me just say that I have learned to stay away from people who keep on pulling me down.

Let me just say that I have let go of those who eternally question me and my causes, my principles and ideals in life.

Let me just say that I have learned to push away those people who were trying to step hard on my foot.

Let me just say that I have learned to get angry at those who belittle my wisdom and insult my intellect.

My life is only too short to spend living up to the expectations of people who are not even fit to lick the sole of my Chucks.

It's about time to move on.

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I'm Feeling Good About Myself

Yep. Yup. Right. I'm feeling sooo damn good about myself now. And believe me, nothing feels better than being able to stand firm on my resolve not to give in. I did not give in this time. And if I do not write about it, I have a very valid reason why I am keeping it to myself. But yes, I am feeling good about myself.

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Laugh with Me Now!

Due to the hilarity of a recent experience, I have to write parts of this entry in Filipino to be able to relate it in its original funny, amusing, and somewhat uproarious state. Have a hoot!

It’s a sad fact that tap water in my apartment is down to nil at times, especially in the morning. So last Saturday, while suffering from painful menstrual cramps, I decided to stay indoors and just laze and bum around. I did a few housekeeping in between dozes, though. But when precious H-2-O came around by lunchtime, I decided to call a friend and invite her to meet me so we can go walk around Robinson’s. We met around 3pm, and off we went to the cool, air-conditioned Robinson’s. Somehow, something funny happened on our jeepney ride to the mall. It’s only a small thing, but I find it very, very funny.

Me: (Yawning) Ang sarap sana kumain ng turon or banana-q, ano? (Roughly: I’m craving for turon or banana-q.)

Friend: Kahapon sabi mo ang craving mo tinola. Ngayon naman, turon at banana-q. Ano ba yan, Clemencia, ha? (You were craving for tinola yesterday and now you want to eat turon and banana-q. What is happening to you, Clemencia?)

Me: (In mega-taray pose.) E bakit ba? E sa naglilihi ako e! (What’s wrong with that? I’m conceiving!)

Hahaha!!! The moment I said that, all passengers turned to stare at me (as if their heads moved in a synchronized motion towards me). And their stares looked as if I’m some kind of an alien or something. Hahaha!!! It could be that they thought I am truly conceiving, or maybe they were thinking I'm hallucinating. Ahahahaha!!!

And so my friend and I couldn’t help but laugh. And we laughed so hard. God, I didn’t know I haven’t laughed in a long time. But it was a chest-wrenching, breath-cutting laugh for both us!

Ah, another one for the books. Hahaha!!!

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Blue

And now I understand.

And I want you to know, I understand.

Two nights ago, I felt tempted to write an entry called Red after talking to Lilia for half an hour. I wanted to write about my anger and my pain because as always, our conversation was far from saccharine. I was so angry, and I wanted the whole world to know how angry I was. And so the familiar feelings from too long ago came haunting me again. I felt hurt, betrayed and violated beyond words.

Then again, in the middle of my throbbing anger, I realized I was being selfish. I realized I was being too inconsiderate. And so despite my pain, I chose to forego the anger and focused on something else. I tried to watch a movie, but Jim Carrey (Bruce Almighty) was unsuccessful in entertaining me. I tried to read a book, but I found Belva Plain too irritating. Finally, at two in the morning, I found comfort in music. I listened to Michael Bublé, Andrea Bocelli, Babyface—until I found myself listening to a recorded concert of Jim Brickman. A song entitled “Change of Heart” played in the middle of the concert with Olivia Newton-John singing to Jim’s piano music.

I was dumbfounded after Olivia and Jim finished the song that I listened to the track once again. I just had to listen to the song again. And so I realized.

While Olivia sang, it was as though she was singing the song to me—for Lilia. Olivia’s gentle crooning became so poignant that it brought me to tears. Tears for all the pain, tears for all the sacrifices, tears for all the memories.

So now I realized that her decision to go away is not just to leave me behind or to spite me. Contrary to how I perceived it before, it is far from being personal.

She did not leave to hurt me or to make my life miserable. Her decision to leave was solely for her children’s welfare. What she did is a mother’s loving gesture towards her children. For what is deeper, stronger and more unconditional than for a mother to lovingly prepare her children’s future?

When Olivia got to the part that says “For years you had been my best friend, I thought that would always be… ‘Cause where I’ll go and what I’ll do I just can’t see my life without you…” I felt like a sharp knife was tearing through my heart because in so many of our conversations, she has repeatedly told me that she cannot imagine her life without me. And I feel the same, no matter what. I will always feel the same.

Towards the end of the song, I could hear her talking to me the day she left, “When I’m gone you might have a change of mind...”

And that’s when I knew. And that’s when I understood.

She knew what the odds were and what the odds now are. And yet she took the risk—the biggest risk—with the hope that I won't have a change of heart—and mind. What I told her then remains today. I never will, Sweetheart. Never.

And so I called this entry Blue. Blue because I feel peaceful. Peaceful now because I understand.

Change of Heart

by Olivia Newton-John and Jim Brickman
(From the album "My Romance: An Evening with Jim Brickman)

I feel that I'm at a crossroads
I don't know which way to go
You say that I am changing
Into someone that you don't know

Who I am and who I'll be
Is locked inside inside of me
And if I follow my heart
Will you still be my friend if we break apart?
How do I make, how will you take my change of heart?

For years you have been my best friend
I thought that would always be
You know that I just can't pretend
It's written all over me

Cause where I'll go, and what I'll do
I just can't see my life without you
If I follow my heart
Will you still be my friend if we break apart?
How do I make, how will you take my change of heart?

Moving on
It's going take some time
When I'm gone
You might have a change of mind
Gotta take the chance
No matter what I find

No matter how far I travel
I think of you as home
It's not about finding someone else
It's all about being alone

Cause who I am
And who I'll be
Is locked inside, inside of me
Cause if I follow my heart
Will you still be my friend if we break apart?
How will I make, how will you take my change of heart?

How will you take my change of heart?

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Another Recap Before Bringing in the Colors

In late March, I purchased my first home appliance. It's a silver Sanyo Star Emerald refrigerator. Great. Not that I don’t have anything else in the apartment, but the other appliances I have are previous purchases while I was living elsewhere. Now that I have my own place, I am slowly starting to buy stuff to make my apartment a home sweet home. Need new curtains, though. Also need a sofa, or a simple, un-upholstered, plain, solid plank of wood as a bench. I also need a decent dining table and a divider for the other room in my apartment which I plan to use as a store area and a work station. Lastly, I also need bookshelves and a display case for my collection of elephants and shotglasses.

As for the earlier part of April, I’m glad to say that I am now finished with my past backlog at the office: survey reports, booklet formats, publication revisions and most recently, I contributed a short article for the weekly which I plan to do on a regular basis. The sheer joy of seeing my written work published is pure joy.

On the 13th, which fell on a Friday, Lily and I celebrated (though we’re continents apart) our 11th anniversary. Hurrah!!! Here’s to us, Tart (*imaginary glass raised for a toast*)! The funny side to our anniversary is the fact that we practically celebrated the event for almost three days. Ahehe. But only because of the time difference between the RP and the US of A.

In the middle of the month, the office rewarded us with an all-expense-paid-for weekend trip to Boracay. Sadly though, on our last day there, I had viral infection that made me weak as a rotten piece of vegetable. I woke up Sunday morning with extremely painful stomach cramps, I was sweating profusely even with the full blast AC, I had a slight fever and—did I mention already—I felt so weak. And so my relief was indescribable when our plane touched down at the Domestic Airport because that meant home—and peace and plenty of rest and lots of sleep.

Then again, the ordeal wasn’t over—yet. Monday welcomed me with skin rashes and something more painful—menstrual cramps. I was beyond consciousness by the end of the day that it is now a wonder how I was able to go home. Tuesday had me crawling towards my GP’s clinic by lunchtime. My hacking cough that morning was enough to send me to my doctor. A combination of menstrual cramps and asthma attack is not something I welcome in this prickling summer heat. And so I was put on a regimen of antibiotics, anti-asthma, anti-allergies, aspirin and high-doses of ascorbic acid for five days. Good God.

And just last week, while barely getting by, I got a text message from Rheea Hermoso-Prudente asking me if I am interested to write an article for the June issue of Masigasig magazine. Rheea said Inez referred me to her. Wow. Almost done with the article now, along with the photo shoot with Sheri Juan.

And that’s my roller-coaster April.

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Red, White, Blue and What Have You

I neglected writing again. And I deliberately did it this time around. For several reasons, though. And these reasons I promise to write about in my succeeding entries with color-full titles.

While browsing through old magazines in my files recently, I came across an article about a person who likes to color code everything in her life—from her files to her shoes to her bathroom—Red, White and Blue. And that article inspired the theme for my new series of entries to follow this short intro.

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I Give Up

(This entry is a repost from my Friendster Blog. Just edited and updated it a bit.)

... how do you say you're giving up the fight?
... how do you accept that the fight is over?
... how do you face defeat?

Yes, I gave up the fight. I just gave it up. But no, i am not going to admit defeat. I gave up the fight because it was not a good fight. I gave up the fight because it was not meant to be.

Yes, I gave up the fight, but I am not a coward. I gave it up not because of fear, or weakness either. I gave up the fight because I chose to give it up. I gave up the fight while I still had some strength left in me to give it up.

I remember a learning experience I share with my seven-year-old niece. She was only six at that time, and new to school. One Sunday afternoon, she started complaining about a classmate who kept pulling and tugging at her ponytails. Typically, my brothers told her to just do the same, to pull at her classmate's ponytails, too. I watched her in amusement as I waited for her childlike reply. I must say that I was expecting her to concede, but alas, I was in for a surprise. She smiled, and proudly said that she can do that, why not, but then it would lead to a nasty fight, and only stupid people do that. Hah. The wisdom of a six-year-old.

So, am I guilty of cowardice when I gave up the fight? I'd say NO. I just took after my niece. I just learned from her six-year-old wisdom.

I just learned the importance of choosing my own battles.

I gave up the fight but I did not give in.

Nunca daré adentro.

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Seven Things that Happened in March

1.

Lost weight. Lost 4 kgs (or roughly 8.81 lbs), especially during the first two full weeks of the month. Doesn't make me happy, anyhow. If I lost weight either because of dieting or working out, then that's fine. But I lost weight because of sadness. Yep. Sadness has a way of 'eating' me. And why am I sad? Well, oh, well... read entry #7.

2.

At 33, my nocturnal asthma has advanced into a strike-anywhere, strike-anytime thing. In other words, it’s a full-blown asthma. Sadness. It used to be occasional attacks, starting with hacking coughs and deep, feline-sounding wheezes that sometimes make me wonder if I’ve really swallowed a cat. And now this full-blown asthma, according to my doctor, can attack anytime and anywhere. Again, according to him, it is caused by various allergens like mites, dust, smoke, and pollen. And on the day I had the most severe asthma attack, I thought I was going to die. The hacking coughs and the wheezing just wouldn’t stop, making it very difficult for me to breathe. I was crying and coughing and wheezing all at the same time. After spending half an hour at an hospital ER for a nebulization, I felt a bit better. And now I am carrying a small turbohaler with me wherever I go. Might as well wear an asthma-alert bracelet. Awww.

3.

On a dark, chilly night, when the sky was adorned by stars, and while standing on a bridge watching cars and people passing by, someone kissed me so sweetly, so deeply, so passionately…

Ah, the memory of that sweet kiss…

4.

On that same cold, chilly night, I got drunk as a skunk on Emperador Brandy. Ha. How brave. How mighty. How… foolish? After gulping six (or is it seven?) bottles of pure, unadulterated, ice-less San Miguel Beer Pale Pilsen, I was on top of the world! Meaning: I could still stand from where I was seated (a good measure of my alcohol tolerance); I could still walk without the drunk-stagger; AND I could still drink s’more. And so I made yabang to my drinking buddies and said, yes, the mighty me could definitely take s’more shots of the golden drink called Emperador. Wahehe. After the nth shot, I could not even wear my eyeglasses. Fuck.

Oh, but did I say I have already consumed half a bottle of Blackberry Merlot before the beer? Ahaha. How lethal can that be? Good God.

5.

Let go of my Nokia N70. For a reason that I do not want to divulge here. So, so, so sad…

6.

In the middle of this month, I became the rightful tenant of Apartment No. 1 somewhere out there in the middle of a quiet neighborhood in Bay, Laguna. It may appear funny to some, irritating to others, that I spent half a day choosing the light bulbs and door knobs for my flat (I’d like to call it a flat). And another half a day buying cleaning aids and basic stuff (clothes hangers, hampers, pail, dippers, basins, soap dishes, dustpan, sweepers, etc.). The meticulous me wanted everything in blue, but then again, I know I can never have everything I want in this lifetime. Ahehe. And so I settled for white whenever an item is unavailable in blue. *Sigh.*

Spent a day moving my stuff from my previous house to my new flat. (Spent entire nights for a week packing all those stuff!!!) Bought new stuff too – bed, dining table, chairs, closets, wall clock, etc. Don’t know where all my money came from for all these things. Wahaha. What is more amazing is the realization that I am capable of doing a lot of things.

Well, now, at least I can:

1. run errands for myself, e.g., pay utility bills, apply for cable connection, etc. (easy pa naman ya-an)
2. clean a house (yes, that’s a fact).
3. make my own bed (used to do it before and so it’s not an earth-shaking fact anymore).
4. sort, wash, hang, dry, and iron my own clothes (waaahhh!!! my hands are now so rough… *sigh*).
5. buy and cook my own food (hmmm…).
6. wake up early in the morning and make my own breakfast (makes me miss Lily so terribly).
7. take care of my own garbage (does this convince anyone now how domesticated I have become?).
8. wash my own toilet and bath (?!@#%$&*!!!!! wtf!!! now this is an earth-shaking fact).
   

Ah, the ills of living alone.

7.

Also, in the middle of this God-forsaken month, Lily, my Lily, left for the US of A. AGAIN.

Now, need I say anything more?

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